Gayla's Magazine

The King's Daughter

 

Being the King’s Daughter does not mean the Christian woman has not had trouble in life. But it does mean when she is weakened by life’s difficulties, then she is strong. Why?  Because the King’s strength has become hers! And His strength makes her brave!! Have you had such a loss in your own life? A loved one that you did not expect to leave your side?

 

I have lost my father in law, EL Holley, mother in law, Verba Joy Holley, my own mother, Joyce Latta, my dad, Sam Latta, a nephew, Tyler Latta, my husband, Gregory Holley and also my mentor in ministry, Dr Lonnie Rex.  I know how grief feels..... and not only the deaths of those I love, but also I have suffered the deaths of ministries, dreams and plans that were taken from me, crushing my heart. Oh yes.... I do know. Along the way I have uncovered ways and healing comforts that make a difference.  

 

Join www.griefguideministries.com and find out how! 

My Baby Baby sermon for Mother’s Day.

https://vimeo.com/547162292

When you can’t control or change a major situation in life, don’t try to run from it. Turn around and face it bravely. Don’t forget that God is also facing it with you and He will not leave your side. 

Courage to face the loss brings a new way to go on in life.  Don’t try to conquer everything at once.  Stay in Today, the 24 hours that you are in. 

 

Peace, grace and strength will come with each moment.  You CAN turn the page and start a new chapter in life. You CAN find a new beginning with a fresh purpose and destiny.  Unlock your heart and open the door to tomorrow...... You are not alone for the Lord is with you.  Throw fear away and allow God to give you a surprising future better than you could have imagined!

Go visit www.griefguideministries.com for more information on how to heal.

 Dr Gayla

Finding a new way to keep walking down life’s road takes time  and energy. With the Lord by my side I have started to heal and am doing well.  There ARE ways and certain things that can be done to help in this journey of grief.  My daily focus was to learn and apply the principals to my own journey in grief. It does help... immensely! 

 GGM is my  focus.....    along with a dear friend of mine who  also is a  widow, Bishop Jackie Davidson. There  are  SO  MANY  people  that are dealing  with  grief we cannot  ignore this  HUGE  need!  

Loss does not have to be the end but it can be the beginning of a new chapter in life. God does have a plan through all of this for those who turn to Him.

 Together we offer over 50 courses that assist and encourage healing for those that mourn. 
Go see.....  

Facebook/ The Grief Guide
And website  www.griefguideministries.com 

 

 

The Widow's Workshop 101

Finding Your Identity in Widowhood

Who Am I?

The focus that so many widows face is ‘who am I now’ after their husband has passed away.  Being in the ministry, she was the Pastor’s wife, or the missionary’s wife..... maybe a Bishop's wife,  but in whatever branch of ministry they served together in, she has been  the minister’s wife who also paid the price beside him.  Her identity was as his helpmeet, while representing the clergy was her burden to carry alongside her husband. She worked beside her loved one in supporting his work, often working life-long  and side by side to carry out the vision God put in his heart.  A life of long hours, sacrifices  made, always putting others ahead of themselves, was often the norm for both of them doing the work among humanity. 

But life has changed now since he has passed away, and she faces a complex future of a different identity.  She must find her footing anew in a completely different world. This adjustment takes time, and cannot be defined by the opinions of others. Many ministry widows feel like they are invisible (or they wish they were) because who she was in her past is now gone.  She’s no longer fulfilling a role she was used to.  The widow often  feels no connection or plans to be fulfilled now. Who is she? 

The glaring truth is that she is no longer a minister’s wife, and people don’t see her as such anymore. Some widows run from this deep pain into areas of need, to bury themselves in active use for others. Some try to hide from their pain by trying to numb it with physical activities that often brings snares to harm her far worse in the end.  Still other widows lean into their secondary relationships  to try to find security and assurance. These may pacify for a season but give no direction in her future.

Trying new styles, clothing, places, people, foods, shopping, traveling, arts are all areas she will explore as she looks for her new identity.  But the awkwardness and often insensitive  remarks, critiques and  conversational 'help’, sometimes causes yet more pain in her mind and heart. And this too does not help her to carve out a new identification for her self. 

Changing houses, locations, churches, ideas, looks and new beginnings all can distract her short term, but still cannot redefine her to her own physic.  All is different now.... that which she felt safe in, that which she knew how to perform well, is no longer in her life.  

Adjust yes.... but who is she to herself now? One has to know who they are supposed to be, to become that person and do so. 

Churches are often at a loss in this area..... what to do with their widows. It’s uncommon for church leadership and church families to know how to respond to death correctly, or how a widow might continue in a different skill set among them.    This certainly is a need in the Body of Christ today.  Lifelong leadership experiences have been honed to effective skills, yet the enormity of her change has caused her entire world to shift  upside down. And a lifetime of looking after others often did not  allow  her much time to look after herself.  She is looking for her new self, but only has her former ministry to figure all of this out.  Often she does not know how to rest or take the time to explore what is next. Where does she look in this new landscape for who she is now?

This is a common issue and one I have heard from many other ministry widows.  There is one other way to handle this dilemma.  It’s the unfolding of the secret place she knows from her years of service that will lead her day by day back to Who she knows best.... the Lord. 

 

 All of the advice of well meaning, but incorrect friends cannot give her a future. They do not know how to bring the assurance, nor open the amazing future that awaits her.  Many only start relaying their own experiences with loss, thus she feels discounted and her fresh grief ignored.  This is not how the Lord would have her directed.  He knows what He wants to have happen in her life next.

For God knows his faithful daughter and her many silent sacrifices over the years, and it is HE that has a future in mind for her.  An unique identity that she is specifically and specially  designed to fulfill ahead. Her life isn’t over,  just the assignment is completed. Serving beside the man of God till death came and parted them. 

Yet in this finished work, her own future will open into new areas of promise and blessing. Only let her hide deeply in the Lord till HE reveal it to her.... for she is His and He knows the plans He has for her.  

Jeremiah 29:11 

This is the LORD’s declaration  —  “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

He will surprise His daughter with joys she never knew before.  And a new identity will unfold as God opens His hand to show her the perfect plan ahead. Her identification remains as His daughter and He knows her name.  

Take heart woman of the Lord, nothing has changed in who you are. Your destiny is still unfolding no matter the life changes you have been through.  Your identity is secure in Him. 

 

7 Ways to help unlock the door of your future:

1. Chart your spiritual life from your earliest remembrance of when you first felt the Lord come to you. Take your time and carefully record the spiritual experiences that have happened over your lifetime. Start from your earliest personal memory of God. Write it year by year if possible, but certainly event by event as He touched your life.  From the beginning all the way up to the present, write it ALL down.  This may take some time, looking through past journals, or pictures, or even songs may all hold past keys of your relationship with God.  Once this chart is done, this clearly shows the hand of God guiding your personal life up to this very day.  THIS is a valuable record of your walk with God.  This will not be your late husband’s, record only yours.  It will help to strengthen your heart that God is watching over you step by step.                                                                                                                                  
2. Find scriptures that have meant so much to you down through the years. Put your name in each one and hand write these on pretty notes and post everywhere for your eyes to see day and night.  When insecurity hits, say these verses out loud to yourself. You are not alone but your future will include Gods promises  for you when this is practiced.  It will build up your faith and trust the God is leading you step by step.  
3. Write a long letter of encouragement to yourself. Don’t wait for positive affirmations from others, but rather encourage yourself in the Lord.  You know what you need to hear!
4. When a wave of grief floods the heart and mind, turn worship music on and pour out the grief to the Lord. Lean on Him when this happens. Slowly your strength will increase and the wave will decrease and healing will begin.  You may consider having music playing all the time for a while to help the silence……
5. Think back to natural talents you may have had to give up in the past,  to tend to the many ministry needs. A blessing is awaiting in the rediscovery of those God given gift you have.  Create a personal space to explore this buried treasure and see where God leads you.   Make a PlayRoom for yourself, and fill it what just things you love. This can start a new area of thought for life.  A specific space affects the mind and will help to affirm there are new enjoyable adventures that lie ahead for you.  This could be a paint corner, a sewing nook, a reading place, a puzzle table, scrapbooking  or an arts and crafts area that remains your private space. This is a  play area that you don’t focus on your loss, but only on your talent inside.     
6. Guard yourself from unwise conversations with well meaning but ill advised people. This includes people, books, podcasts, movies. None of these matter in your life .... it’s God who is directing the widow into her future that He has planned. There can be less personal pain by guarding your heart well. 
7. Start a Comfort Book for yourself!  This is a three ring notebook that is created by you and for you. Every time you read something interesting that stands out to you, start collecting them.  Articles, notes of encouragement from others, ideas you would like to try someday.  A bucket list, a vision board, various colors and different thought processes.  These all will serve to bring to the mind areas of development that have been buried.  When you have it filled, go back and see what messages the Lord may be giving to you in your own heart. 

 

“Who am I? What really defines my existence? I want that to be based on something that can never be lost.” 

Dr Stephan Viars 

 

The identity of a ministry widow may still include ministry, but God may surprisingly  use her skills to help in a area that there are no hands available to work in. Start watching but don’t push doors to open.... when it’s God He will open the right doors and the right time.

 

I promise there is a new beginning, but to get there takes time, focus and a open heart.  

All is not lost…. God knows the plans He for YOU! 

Dr Gayla Holley

yes.... all these pictures are me :) 

 

How BIG God is!

How WONDERFUL and INCREDIBLE the LIVING GOD truly is and His ways past finding out.  

There are many ways that we are told in scripture of how big God is…

The Hand of God

The Eyes of God

The Power of God

The Ears of God

The Ways of God

The Holiness of God

The Knowledge of God

The Power of God

The Strength of God

The Forgiveness of God, the Mercy of God, the Heart of God,  the creativity of God, the Mind of God...... Oh I could go on and on about Him!

And there are far far too many verses to share ……. 

But today I will tell you just 4 of the many attributes of how big I have found that God is.  

1. The Wisdom of God
2. The Word of God
3. The Love of God
4. The Spirit of God 

Ps 31:19

Oh how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee, which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men.  

 

The Wisdom of God 

Isaiah 40:28 

Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding.   

Verse 14

With whom took he counsel and who instructed him and taught him in the path of judgement and taught him knowledge and shewed to him the way of understanding.  

Verse 15

Behold the nations are as a drop of the bucket and are counted as the small dust of the balance.

God lives in infinity, yet He created Time

He is all illumination, yet He created Light and Dark

He is omnipresent (present everywhere at all times) yet will spend time with just one soul when he prays.

He is from everlasting (before time began) to everlasting (after time ends) yet came into time and dwelt among man.  

God is sovereign over all.  He IS knowledge, He IS Judgement, He IS love, He IS understanding…… His wisdom is infinite in all things.  

THIS is how big God is!

 

The Word of God 

 By His Word He framed the worlds, He spoke all we know into existence.  

John 1:1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  

God spoke …… and mysteries and spheres, physics and metaphysics appeared.  Things above nature and things below nature. Worlds within worlds came into reality.  The powers of the human body, and how the soul occupies the body. Compostions of matter and constellations of space and time came into creation.  

Bigger that what we can comprehend and smaller that we could even imagine.  

And as Almighty God, He created a way for Him to come into the world HE CREATED ……

Feeding 5,000 by multiplying bread and fish with His Word. 

Stopping a intense storm on the Sea, while being inside a small boat inside the storm - with His Word. 

Raised the dead with His Word…… just to name a few. 

THIS is how big God is!

 

The Love of God 

The incarnate Almighty I AM  subjected Himself to a linear timeframe and limited human body (that He created) to become the Savior for His fallen creation - humanity.  This fact of our faith describes the unconditional unfathomable LOVE  of God. 

Jeremiah 31:3

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying, Yea I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

Romans 8:38-39

For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, not angels not principalities, not powers nor things present not things to come.  Nor height nor depth nor any other creatures shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Forgave mankind of their sins while they were crucifying Him on the cross….saying, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” 

And the description of the love of God found in these  verses is incomprehensible!

THIS is how big God is!

 

The Spirit of God 

God’s Holy Spirit …… that invisible power of God that we can all feel when He comes to us….. is alive and here on earth.  

God’s Spirit is Omnipotent, His Power is unlimited and can do miracles of any sort.  His Holiness separates Him from all defilement and constantly is drawing us into purification in our lives through His Spirit.  

John 4:24

God is a Spirit and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.  

Romans 8:27

And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.  

Isaiah 40:28 

Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary?  There is no searching of his understanding.  

The Spirit of God is so big…… there is no place on earth that one can go to hide from his presence.  Go dig these verses up!!!

Our God does BIG THINGS - He wants more for us.  We are made in his image to become more, do more and be more!  He WANTS more for us that is clear! 

 

Ps 81:10

I am the Lord thy God which brought thee out of the land of Egypt; open thy mouth wide and I will fill it.  

 

Why not ask God to reveal Himself to you in some of these ways...... 

It will so enrich your heart, mind, soul and strength to find God deeper!  

 

 

 

Brothers and Sisters.....

It goes without saying that my husband touched the countless lives of men and brethren in the ministry.  But he also changed the lives of many women.  Here are a few comments that were made about him from sisters in the Lord....

“He was a champion of others. The biggest cheerleader you could ever want but the toughest critic you’d ever need. I couldn’t get past a phone call or visit without piles of positive words thrown my way. If he saw a spark of greatness in you, he’d water that thing and pull it out of you even if you didn’t see it.” Pastor Liz Dolan

Archbishop Gregory Holley seemed bigger than life. His far-reaching influence for the Kingdom of God both humbles and inspires me. He left a very big footprint in the places he walked. His fearless spirit and lion strength throughout his life and especially in his last days are wonderful examples of faith. It is an honor and privilege to have been counted as his friend. Pastor Andrea Galloway

Yesterday was a spectacular Legacy Service for the greatest man I’ve ever known, Metropolitan Archbishop Gregory Holley. I got a text yesterday from our Pastor Jason John Cowart, “And the only thing better than experiencing a legacy is carrying it on...”. The service ended with a grand Charge to carry on the work of the Lord and to expand the Kingdom of God. Bishop Sean Mooney and Pastor Angela Mooney have been trained, equipped, anointed and divinely appointed to do this. Together we stand with you, encouraging you, supporting you and praying for you. Saying goodbye to the man who became my father was very difficult; however, his words echo in my ear and forever will be the compass that leads me back to Jesus. Minister Deborah Ruppert

I stood proudly beside Archbishop Greg Holley and very humbly among my brothers on this day. He would ordain me as the first female Bishop in ICCI. His encouragement saw me through many challenges. Rest well great warrior of the faith. We’ll catch up with you soon. Missionary Bishop Robin Posgay

A great man of God has gone home today. He has put down his sword and is receiving his reward. He battled cancer for 16 months but he battled the enemy of our soul his entire life. He has had victory after victory and I am forever thankful for the time I spent under the ministry of Bishop Greg Holley and his precious wife Gayla Holley, daughter Angela Mooney and son in law Bishop Sean Mooney. Wayne and I are so glad to have called Bishop friend. Dear Bishop it’s not goodbye, it’s “See ya later.” We will continue the battle now.  Sister Carla Wade

My Uncle Greg Holley has found rest and peace as He reached out and grabbed onto the hands that formed him, the hands that have carried him, sustained him and allowed him to be a vessel of God’s glory and His renown...for he has reached the finish line and has received his crown.

No more pain, no more suffering. He has fought the good fight and he has finished the race and he stands before our Savior face to face....his journey is done yet his legacy will forever live on.

The angels sing, the great cloud of witnesses rejoice as he is embraced by his Heavenly Father, who says, “Well done, my good and faithful son.”

I love you and I will see you again someday.

Love your niece,

Summer Joy

 

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about Bishop Gregory who sleeps in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

I Thess. 4:13 NIV

 

 

One Never Knows....

I could have never known that the next time he would be in The Coat of Many Colors Cathedral with Bishop Gershon Suan it would be at his own Legacy Memorial Service! 

The Man preached a great message that day.... and now this verse means even more to me today! 

I trust in the Lord and my hope is in Him. 

Widowhood

'When you think of someone who is a widow, most of us imagine a woman in her 80s or 90s, but according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of widows is 59-years-old, but many are much younger. In fact, almost 2,800 women become widowed every day.'

Healthy Living: Modern Widow

 

There is a statement that has stuck with me through many very tough life experiences.....

“When the storm breaks, each man acts in accordance with his own nature. Some are dumb with terror. Some flee. Some hide. And some spread their wings like eagles and soar on the wind.”Unknown

 

I believe widows have these four choices and it’s up to us what we decide to do each day. Choose well for the Lord is with us all and He would have us soar and let our tears fall like rain upon the thirsty souls in need around us.

 

I could NEVER have guessed what the Lord was showing me then.....

I had this dream three years ago in January 2018......

The Dream

I am going place to place, in and out of white buildings (but the insides are dark and dirty looking) ... I’m taken up and down many small winding streets... twisting and unmarked.

I am being shown the various details that people are searching for.....

People are leading me different places to find things and I started feeling lost. I didn’t know where I was at and I was trying to figure out my direction to be sure I could find my way back.

Then the day started getting darker. And I was taken in a boat and was racing across the sea- other boats beside us also all going the same way. But I could tell only one person at a time was being taken in each boat.

The dark waters were choppy but did not impede our speed. All of the boats were being driven with great force across the waves very fast.

Then the sky line changed from growing darkness to a wide line of golden light off in the distance ahead of us.

(Like a concave dome overhead and then the dome is being opened and bright light appears on the side) We arrive at the shore and I am taken out of the boat by people who seemed very friendly and knew me.

I told them I didn’t know where I was......

I noticed that there were gorgeous flowers along the pathway all planted in beautiful arrangements on the ground! (Like flower arrangements would be in a vase but these were planted in the ground and growing!)

To my right I was standing behind a very tall floral arrangement made of golden yellow and purple flowers taller than I was but I was behind it but could just see the colors of it. Just peering through the leaves I could tell it would be very beautiful from the front side.

I asked someone where am I?

I was told

‘You are on the backside of Beauty’.

Suddenly I knew by my former activities I had been traveling through my lifetime headed to Heaven.

Then my understanding was opened .....

The travels are about our lives, often we are unsure of our directives, and the plans we make that go astray. We are always trying to make sense out of the people, places and experiences we go through.

The boat and water is our trip from earth to heaven - the death trip. For those who are saved the boat travels quickly to the golden sunrise of Glory. There are loved ones waiting for the arrival of each one.

*** All we see and do and are involved in on earth is only the backside... the underneath side of true LIFE which is in eternity!

We now live in Ugly...... but this is only until we are taken to Heaven and arrive at Beauty.

1. Don’t waste your life on the temporary.

2. Be sure you are ready for eternity.

3. It will be worth it all when we see Jesus.

This dream was fulfilled for my husband on January 5, 2021

Three years later.....