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When you can’t control or change a major situation in life, don’t try to run from it. Turn around and face it bravely. Don’t forget that God is also facing it with you and He will not leave your side.
Courage to face the loss brings a new way to go on in life. Don’t try to conquer everything at once. Stay in Today, the 24 hours that you are in.
Peace, grace and strength will come with each moment. You CAN turn the page and start a new chapter in life. You CAN find a new beginning with a fresh purpose and destiny. Unlock your heart and open the door to tomorrow...... You are not alone for the Lord is with you. Throw fear away and allow God to give you a surprising future better than you could have imagined!
Go visit www.griefguideministries.com for more information on how to heal.
Dr Gayla
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Finding a new way to keep walking down life’s road takes time and energy. With the Lord by my side I have started to heal and am doing well. There ARE ways and certain things that can be done to help in this journey of grief. My daily focus was to learn and apply the principals to my own journey in grief. It does help... immensely!
GGM is my focus..... along with a dear friend of mine who also is a widow, Bishop Jackie Davidson. There are SO MANY people that are dealing with grief we cannot ignore this HUGE need!
Loss does not have to be the end but it can be the beginning of a new chapter in life. God does have a plan through all of this for those who turn to Him.
Together we offer over 50 courses that assist and encourage healing for those that mourn.
Go see.....
Facebook/ The Grief Guide
And website www.griefguideministries.com
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Finding Your Identity in Widowhood
Who Am I?
The focus that so many widows face is ‘who am I now’ after their husband has passed away. Being in the ministry, she was the Pastor’s wife, or the missionary’s wife..... maybe a Bishop's wife, but in whatever branch of ministry they served together in, she has been the minister’s wife who also paid the price beside him. Her identity was as his helpmeet, while representing the clergy was her burden to carry alongside her husband. She worked beside her loved one in supporting his work, often working life-long and side by side to carry out the vision God put in his heart. A life of long hours, sacrifices made, always putting others ahead of themselves, was often the norm for both of them doing the work among humanity.
But life has changed now since he has passed away, and she faces a complex future of a different identity. She must find her footing anew in a completely different world. This adjustment takes time, and cannot be defined by the opinions of others. Many ministry widows feel like they are invisible (or they wish they were) because who she was in her past is now gone. She’s no longer fulfilling a role she was used to. The widow often feels no connection or plans to be fulfilled now. Who is she?
The glaring truth is that she is no longer a minister’s wife, and people don’t see her as such anymore. Some widows run from this deep pain into areas of need, to bury themselves in active use for others. Some try to hide from their pain by trying to numb it with physical activities that often brings snares to harm her far worse in the end. Still other widows lean into their secondary relationships to try to find security and assurance. These may pacify for a season but give no direction in her future.
Trying new styles, clothing, places, people, foods, shopping, traveling, arts are all areas she will explore as she looks for her new identity. But the awkwardness and often insensitive remarks, critiques and conversational 'help’, sometimes causes yet more pain in her mind and heart. And this too does not help her to carve out a new identification for her self.
Changing houses, locations, churches, ideas, looks and new beginnings all can distract her short term, but still cannot redefine her to her own physic. All is different now.... that which she felt safe in, that which she knew how to perform well, is no longer in her life.
Adjust yes.... but who is she to herself now? One has to know who they are supposed to be, to become that person and do so.
Churches are often at a loss in this area..... what to do with their widows. It’s uncommon for church leadership and church families to know how to respond to death correctly, or how a widow might continue in a different skill set among them. This certainly is a need in the Body of Christ today. Lifelong leadership experiences have been honed to effective skills, yet the enormity of her change has caused her entire world to shift upside down. And a lifetime of looking after others often did not allow her much time to look after herself. She is looking for her new self, but only has her former ministry to figure all of this out. Often she does not know how to rest or take the time to explore what is next. Where does she look in this new landscape for who she is now?
This is a common issue and one I have heard from many other ministry widows. There is one other way to handle this dilemma. It’s the unfolding of the secret place she knows from her years of service that will lead her day by day back to Who she knows best.... the Lord.
All of the advice of well meaning, but incorrect friends cannot give her a future. They do not know how to bring the assurance, nor open the amazing future that awaits her. Many only start relaying their own experiences with loss, thus she feels discounted and her fresh grief ignored. This is not how the Lord would have her directed. He knows what He wants to have happen in her life next.
For God knows his faithful daughter and her many silent sacrifices over the years, and it is HE that has a future in mind for her. An unique identity that she is specifically and specially designed to fulfill ahead. Her life isn’t over, just the assignment is completed. Serving beside the man of God till death came and parted them.
Yet in this finished work, her own future will open into new areas of promise and blessing. Only let her hide deeply in the Lord till HE reveal it to her.... for she is His and He knows the plans He has for her.
This is the LORD’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
He will surprise His daughter with joys she never knew before. And a new identity will unfold as God opens His hand to show her the perfect plan ahead. Her identification remains as His daughter and He knows her name.
Take heart woman of the Lord, nothing has changed in who you are. Your destiny is still unfolding no matter the life changes you have been through. Your identity is secure in Him.
7 Ways to help unlock the door of your future:
“Who am I? What really defines my existence? I want that to be based on something that can never be lost.”
Dr Stephan Viars
The identity of a ministry widow may still include ministry, but God may surprisingly use her skills to help in a area that there are no hands available to work in. Start watching but don’t push doors to open.... when it’s God He will open the right doors and the right time.
I promise there is a new beginning, but to get there takes time, focus and a open heart.
All is not lost…. God knows the plans He for YOU!
Dr Gayla Holley
yes.... all these pictures are me :)
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How WONDERFUL and INCREDIBLE the LIVING GOD truly is and His ways past finding out.
There are many ways that we are told in scripture of how big God is…
The Hand of God
The Eyes of God
The Power of God
The Ears of God
The Ways of God
The Holiness of God
The Knowledge of God
The Power of God
The Strength of God
The Forgiveness of God, the Mercy of God, the Heart of God, the creativity of God, the Mind of God...... Oh I could go on and on about Him!
And there are far far too many verses to share …….
But today I will tell you just 4 of the many attributes of how big I have found that God is.
Ps 31:19
Oh how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee, which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men.
The Wisdom of God
Isaiah 40:28
Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding.
Verse 14
With whom took he counsel and who instructed him and taught him in the path of judgement and taught him knowledge and shewed to him the way of understanding.
Verse 15
Behold the nations are as a drop of the bucket and are counted as the small dust of the balance.
God lives in infinity, yet He created Time
He is all illumination, yet He created Light and Dark
He is omnipresent (present everywhere at all times) yet will spend time with just one soul when he prays.
He is from everlasting (before time began) to everlasting (after time ends) yet came into time and dwelt among man.
God is sovereign over all. He IS knowledge, He IS Judgement, He IS love, He IS understanding…… His wisdom is infinite in all things.
THIS is how big God is!
The Word of God
By His Word He framed the worlds, He spoke all we know into existence.
John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
God spoke …… and mysteries and spheres, physics and metaphysics appeared. Things above nature and things below nature. Worlds within worlds came into reality. The powers of the human body, and how the soul occupies the body. Compostions of matter and constellations of space and time came into creation.
Bigger that what we can comprehend and smaller that we could even imagine.
And as Almighty God, He created a way for Him to come into the world HE CREATED ……
Feeding 5,000 by multiplying bread and fish with His Word.
Stopping a intense storm on the Sea, while being inside a small boat inside the storm - with His Word.
Raised the dead with His Word…… just to name a few.
THIS is how big God is!
The Love of God
The incarnate Almighty I AM subjected Himself to a linear timeframe and limited human body (that He created) to become the Savior for His fallen creation - humanity. This fact of our faith describes the unconditional unfathomable LOVE of God.
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying, Yea I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, not angels not principalities, not powers nor things present not things to come. Nor height nor depth nor any other creatures shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Forgave mankind of their sins while they were crucifying Him on the cross….saying, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
And the description of the love of God found in these verses is incomprehensible!
THIS is how big God is!
The Spirit of God
God’s Holy Spirit …… that invisible power of God that we can all feel when He comes to us….. is alive and here on earth.
God’s Spirit is Omnipotent, His Power is unlimited and can do miracles of any sort. His Holiness separates Him from all defilement and constantly is drawing us into purification in our lives through His Spirit.
John 4:24
God is a Spirit and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.
Romans 8:27
And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Isaiah 40:28
Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding.
The Spirit of God is so big…… there is no place on earth that one can go to hide from his presence. Go dig these verses up!!!
Our God does BIG THINGS - He wants more for us. We are made in his image to become more, do more and be more! He WANTS more for us that is clear!
Ps 81:10
I am the Lord thy God which brought thee out of the land of Egypt; open thy mouth wide and I will fill it.
Why not ask God to reveal Himself to you in some of these ways......
It will so enrich your heart, mind, soul and strength to find God deeper!
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It goes without saying that my husband touched the countless lives of men and brethren in the ministry. But he also changed the lives of many women. Here are a few comments that were made about him from sisters in the Lord....
“He was a champion of others. The biggest cheerleader you could ever want but the toughest critic you’d ever need. I couldn’t get past a phone call or visit without piles of positive words thrown my way. If he saw a spark of greatness in you, he’d water that thing and pull it out of you even if you didn’t see it.” Pastor Liz Dolan
Archbishop Gregory Holley seemed bigger than life. His far-reaching influence for the Kingdom of God both humbles and inspires me. He left a very big footprint in the places he walked. His fearless spirit and lion strength throughout his life and especially in his last days are wonderful examples of faith. It is an honor and privilege to have been counted as his friend. Pastor Andrea Galloway
Yesterday was a spectacular Legacy Service for the greatest man I’ve ever known, Metropolitan Archbishop Gregory Holley. I got a text yesterday from our Pastor Jason John Cowart, “And the only thing better than experiencing a legacy is carrying it on...”. The service ended with a grand Charge to carry on the work of the Lord and to expand the Kingdom of God. Bishop Sean Mooney and Pastor Angela Mooney have been trained, equipped, anointed and divinely appointed to do this. Together we stand with you, encouraging you, supporting you and praying for you. Saying goodbye to the man who became my father was very difficult; however, his words echo in my ear and forever will be the compass that leads me back to Jesus. Minister Deborah Ruppert
I stood proudly beside Archbishop Greg Holley and very humbly among my brothers on this day. He would ordain me as the first female Bishop in ICCI. His encouragement saw me through many challenges. Rest well great warrior of the faith. We’ll catch up with you soon. Missionary Bishop Robin Posgay
A great man of God has gone home today. He has put down his sword and is receiving his reward. He battled cancer for 16 months but he battled the enemy of our soul his entire life. He has had victory after victory and I am forever thankful for the time I spent under the ministry of Bishop Greg Holley and his precious wife Gayla Holley, daughter Angela Mooney and son in law Bishop Sean Mooney. Wayne and I are so glad to have called Bishop friend. Dear Bishop it’s not goodbye, it’s “See ya later.” We will continue the battle now. Sister Carla Wade
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I could have never known that the next time he would be in The Coat of Many Colors Cathedral with Bishop Gershon Suan it would be at his own Legacy Memorial Service!
The Man preached a great message that day.... and now this verse means even more to me today!
I trust in the Lord and my hope is in Him.
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