For several days I was at a real loss and suffered anxiety until I started figuring out by myself what to do. After 5 days in ICU my husband was moved to a regular room, and by then I had started figuring out what to do to help VIRTUALLY. Maybe this information will help someone else in this situation as well. I have written these top tips simply to help others understand what they can do long distance when they can’t be right there beside their own loved one.
1. Questions:
Start making a list of questions you will have to ask the people who are involved in their care. Each day new questions may arise... it will give you peace of mind to be prepared when you talk to his/her caregivers.
2. Answers:
Each phone call make good notes as to who you are talking to, what part of the body are they involved in treating, what was said and the medications that are given and what side effects it might cause. This is your ONLY way to keep connections in the big maze of healthcare done when you can’t be there. They are just voices over the phone unless you make good notes w dates and times and names. That way you can help your loved one to understand what’s happening in their care.
3. Understand:
There are multiple Drs involved in their care. Each dept cares for a different body part. While this can give expert care to the patient, you can get confused easily unless you clearly know who the ‘blood dr’ is and who the ‘kidney dr’ is! Write each name and 'body part' down that they are taking care of.... this information is extremely helpful in all the confusion of the medical care being given.
4. Staff:
Each day and night there will be a different staff set that’s caring for them. Find out the nurse’s names, call the nurses station, introduce yourself and ask when is the best time to check in with them for updates daily. This lets them know you will be involved in the care of your loved one. Show appreciation for their personal care .... it could go a long way for better attention and helps them to know their patient from a more personal perspective. Then call every day just to check in.
5. Doctor:
Find out the name of the attending Resident Dr of the floor where your beloved is. And figure out how to get ahold of him/her if an emergency arises. I learned this the hard way!
6. Observation:
FaceTime daily with your honey and ask for them to show you the room. That way you can visually but silently see the upkeep or lack of it and make a note to talk about it w the staff. Don’t be afraid to ask the staff....you are the only eyes and ears that love him/her and what you see or find out is important on their recovery. Get food trays removed, clothes pick up off the floor and fresh blankets with your daily staffer calls.
7. Phone Calls:
Have your patient call you or request the Dr to call you while the Dr is in the room so you can hear and understand what’s happening. Make sure your phone number is given to Drs and staff.
8. Meals:
Eating is an issue for one who is very ill.... find out if they need liquids, a soft diet, regular or diabetic meals? They can’t just order off a menu, understand the timing the order must happen or choose best options for their dietary needs or they are not able to reach the phone. They are SICK. This needs to be addressed with the nursing staff each day.... if this isn’t addressed the patient simply will not eat or be fed. Ask me I know.
9. Who Can Help:
Find the Patient Advocacy dept and call them. Make a friend in this area and explore how they can help your loved one. They know you are extra worried because you are not allowed to be there and that can make a difference.
10. Charge Nurse:
When there is something going wrong medically and the nurse doesn’t seem to be in control, too busy or have the information at hand. You can call the Charge Nurse. This person is in charge of the floor and they can go make an assessment and see what the emergency is and make a decision to get help quickly.
11. PC Doctors:
Stay in touch with the patient’s PC Dr. This person will be able to help if they know pain levels, bleeding, new symptoms ect. They will have sent you to the hospital where they have hospital privileges. A PC Dr will know the procedures to follow, know the staffer/Drs in charge and help with care. They can go and come from there while you can’t and they will keep you informed as well.
12. Loved one:
The last phone call of each day pray with your loved one. You want the last voice they hear for the day to be positive, life giving and full of faith that God is with them through this situation. He is there when you cannot be..... and God loves them MORE than even you do. So pray.
Dr Gayla Holley
Christian Counselor
Comments