Gayla's Magazine

Parenting Skills

 Often Pastors wives are the ones who deal with children issues at church. Worn out mothers often are dealing with unruly kids, and by the time they get to church they just want someone else to deal with them. So the PW has got to use tact, gently lead and yet get control so the child doesn’t cause a disterbance in a church service! 

Meanwhile the role of parents is to train up (work with, practice with, instruct, lead, correct model, and encourage good behavior) their own children. Alas, this seems to be the forgotten purpose of having a family,  in the race to gather material goods and money instead of raising good moral children. 

Pastors wives cannot raise the church family’s kids. She can encourage and instruct for the possible 2 hours once a week. Maybe.... that is if faithful people attend weekly. She is looked to for parental advice by women, who are overworked, exhausted and the demands of ‘bigger and better’ are forcing her to pay the price of having others raise her children. 

Many Pastors wives would like to say, “stop working outside of your home. Your children are desperately needing parenting.”  Yet they cannot say so because they will be accused of offending church goers. Yet the truth remains.... 

Kids cannot raise themselves. So strangers in daycares, and teachers are forced to barely shape them and give them life skills. They don’t love these kids.... they are paid to do a job. So children grow up without the daily nurturing and loving attention of their parents. Then when they act out because they NEED attention, parents just don’t get it. 

This Pastor’s Wife (me) is speaking out..... kids are not necessarily ‘bad kids’. It’s that no one has made them the focus and center of their life. There is no one to love them as much as their parents do! Be sure you put them first. Not a career..... not sports..... not a club.... not money..... not material goods. Your child. Once they are grown, it’s over. No further chance to shape them into good people. 

Do it right the first time.... it’s the only chance you will have. The Pastors Wife wants to tell you but can’t.... she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. But she’s hoping you will understand the truth and your calling in life. Meanwhile she smiles and tries to help another mother’s child calm down in church. 

 When thoughts seem tormenting and normal routines are interrupted by constant worries and anxiety, it’s time to take charge! At times it’s like  clouds of fuzzy fears and unsettling emotions pass through our minds, these are mental spiritual attacks! What to do??? 

Take control of thoughts by obeying this verse of scripture. Replace each thought and false belief with truth and the Word. When a fear appears see it for what it is..... a fear, or a doubt or whatever it really is. Then refuse it entrance, resist it, or repent of it if needed, by exchanging it with a promise from God’s Word. You have the power to control troubling thoughts by this wonderfully freeing technique. The verse above clearly shows us what God wants us to think about. You have God’s permission! It’s the perfect prescription for mental health. 

Amazing Grace for Me

Ladies have you had your Mammogram yet this month? While it could be put off...... the value of prevention and early detection far outweighs the hassle and waiting that goes along with the whole Mammo scene. So don't put it off..... book your appointment NOW! If it's been a while since you have had this test, you may be pleasantly surprised at the updated equipment now in use across the US. The 3D imaging machine really is an upgrade in showing more details to the radiologist. Better testing means better results for every woman, AND easier to deal with the process as well.  

Girlfriend, let me just take these sunglasses off and talk straight to you.

I know all about this process - many many times!  I have had 2 lumpectomies, many needle biopsies, lots of  needle aspirations, MRI, CAT scans, more mammo's than I can count, oh and ultrasounds too. I could go on but I won't right now.

When I was 25 years old,  a Dr told me by the time I was 40 I would have double mastectomies from cancer.  But I haven't.  Guess what, I'm now 60 years old.

I believe in the power of prayer, God's destiny for my life, AND eating well, avoiding chemicals as much as possible, and living a healthy life.  Things like avoiding aluminum, pesticides, herbicides, nitrites and  all known carcinogenic issues.  And no I don't go around looking for various scary things to run away from.  BUT I do drink lots of purified water and eat organic meats and veggies.  The point is...... I'm still here after all the cancer surgeries and the various diagnosis's of dire predictions. 

I've contracted Tuberculoses as a child in Africa,   had a 3.3 centimeter mass discovered in my liver, broke a vertebra in my back in Africa, and have had no treatment from any of these things. To God be all the glory. He keeps me going year after year, amazing me with His goodness. 

What's my point in telling you all of this? No other person can provide you with preventative care but yourself.  God will do His part to help you, but we as women have to do our part in caring for ourselves well.  So be a good girl and go get your Mammo....... He will Amaze you with His care over you.... no matter what a Dr may say.

The Holy Spirit whispered to me during one of my ordeals, "The facts are not necessarily the truth."

It has been His Amazing Grace to me.   

 

 

My Instagram Message to You

The Bee Project

   

Moms Against Hunger provides helpful systems for families to feed themselves. The Bee Project is one I fully support!  

Go see what it's all about .....

Slow Down to Make Progress Ahead

Being married 43+ years (at the time of this writing) has brought us through many countries, cultures and belief systems in this old world.  Now  that our time isn't sooooo crammed with schedules and trying to please so many people, there is more of a chance to analyze and think about our experiences together through the years. To work smarter not harder.   While standing in this elegant hallway I was thinking about the past travels and how far we had come in life.  This picture is a paradox - we were trying to go 'slow' - but were moving across the waves at a fast pace.  How can you go slow and fast at the same time? 

Well I think it has something to do with the size of the vessel you are in.  If you travel in a small vehicle, going 40 miles an hour can feel quite fast.  But if you are in a large motor coach, going 40 feels like you are crawling. If you are on the water - traveling in a small boat can be a tossing experience in the waves - but in a cruise ship the waves feel like nothing! 

It depends on where you are in life as to how much the wind and the waves can affect you.  After a lifetime of marriage and seeing many 'waves and stormy winds'  - small squalls are nothing.  Our going 'slower' now doesn't mean at all that we are crawling along.  Not on your life!  Rather it means we have concentrated our efforts, doubled our energies, and made our next season one of experience loaded moves!  

Less is more now..... we slowed down so we can move ahead with greater purpose!  

 

 

For every time my heart felt like it was in my throat and then watched God turn things around! For every ‘surprise’ that turned my world upside down. I’m grateful to God first of all, my family second, and then the medical professionals over the years for walking me thru each time!  Ladies getting a mammogram isn’t perfect nor fun, but if it saves your life then it’s so worth it! October means it’s time to get yours!!! More on my journey at another time but right now it’s time to go get a mammogram ! Mine will be on Thursday next week. I’m ready are you?  When is yours? 

The Benches

What does this picture speak to you? Two benches, falling leaves and you. 

To me it says...... the  crisp air of Autumn, the gently falling colorful leaves, my fall boots, sweaters and scarves I forgot I owned, it's a nice fall experience of life.  Add a pumpkin spice coffee and here would be the makings of a perfectly lovely afternoon.  

Sadly...... women in ministry are far too busy to stop and enjoy the sights, smells, tastes, feelings and the warmth of God's changing nature.  And beyond the explosion of senses?  The inability to set and absorb the Presence of the Lord personally..... alone.... in quiet solitude. It's this, that  is lost. We. Are. Too. Busy. 

BUT ...... THIS is exactly what you need to do.  To regain your balance, your peace of mind and your personal inner sanctuary with God.  

If you have to schedule it in - pencil in an appointment for yourself - it can be essential to your wellbeing.  You've often heard about 'stopping to smell the roses'? Same concept - but a different season in life.  Do you know what season you are in? Are you prepared emotionally for what's coming next? 

When leaves are dying and trees are going into a period of rest such as Fall into Winter - so we should watch, learn and also change our mindset about all functions in our lives. Every part of life cycles naturally - do we?

Find a spot outside, get alone, watch God's creation and listen for His whispers in your heart. You will be refreshed in a new way privately as well as become prepared.

Your bench awaits...... God is already setting there on His bench, just waiting on you.    

Tea Madam?

Have a cuppa with me...... Lets talk about Fall and 'turning over a new leaf' in our lives.  

When a season changes in ones life, transition can be confusing, scary and make one insecure about the future.  Who can make any long range goals when change is in the air?  Yet the seasons of nature show us that change is natural and normal in it's various stages of life.  Babies grow into toddlers, toddlers into terrible twos, and they turn into children who turn into preteens who become teenagers, then slide into young adults.... and on and on.  You get the point.  20's..... 30's..... 40's... 50's and then the awesome 60's happen etc.  

What stage are you at? Where are you on the 'age change' scale?  What about the ministry changes that occur?  I have lived long enough to come through various stages of ministry some happy, and some were heartbreaking.  Some made perfect sense and others caused me grief.  But it's only later on that the full picture comes into view, and I ALWAYS say..... "Oh!  Now I get it!  Thank you God for not listening to me.  You knew what was best for me!"  

Now sip your tea and take a good look at your seasonal change.  The autumn of the year has often been my season of change. Has it been yours?  

Now I look forward to my next stage of life and ministry.  It's all good. I've seen the end result of trusting God with changes I can't control.  

Hey..... different is good!  It's going to end in a great position of blessing - hang on pumpkin!