Often when we are busy on our soapboxes of our opinions and our reactions to the actions and words of others, we wish to open our mouths and spout great swelling words of our own thoughts. But my friend.... so much of the time we don't have all the facts! We are quick to judge others and tell them what we think about their lives and how they should run them. And we end up stepping on toes, or into messes we would rather not be in. Ever had to clean your shoes off from something you stepped in?
In consideration of the many people I have counseled down through the years, here's a free bit of advice.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK REMEMBER THESE 5 LITTLE TRUTHS....
1. Is it the truth?
2. Are you walking in their shoes and know all about the issues at hand.
3. What you are about to say, will it provoke the person to better works?
4. Is it going to help the problem at hand?
5. Are you in authority over this person and have the 'right' to speak into their lives in such a personal way?
If you answered no to any of these questions, keep your tongue tied up and lodged in your throat, and trash the words you were about to say.
I have seen too many people tripped up by anxious words and emotions of others that literally stop the progression of healthy relationships. This is the test of good communication.
But here is some good news for you! Even if you blew it, don't quit. Keep reaching out because in the end, it can actually draw people together in understanding when both parties don't walk away.
The actual events that unfold in Joshua’s life are not
really up to him. There is a God in
Heaven who is guiding his steps into training, warfare and leadership. And God is the one responsible for shaping
Joshua into the man He has designed him to be.
Often women who are married to a Joshua do not understand him, nor try
to fit into his world, but rather become demanding and brittle in their
opinions of their husband. He is strong
and courageous, filled with God ideas and stands in the course of shaping history
because he is who God has made him to be.
While she is busy judging him…. God is busy molding him into
a specific vessel of purpose. While she is complaining about the heat their
life is constantly in, God is forging a
unique vessel in the fire. Her attitude puts stumbling blocks in the process,
and only causes the time to lengthen.
Being married to Joshua, she doesn’t understand that he has been hand
picked by God, to do a special work. His
training while seeming to be endless is slowly shaping a incredible weapon of
power in God’s hands.
She can choose to become a part of his life, and the honor
that will eventually come to him, she will also share. Or she can back down in total misunderstanding
and lose her own blessing in the midst of God’s anointing. But to become one
with him means she also must be willing to lose her reputation, her own
identity, her soft and comfortable life, have other people intrude day and
night constantly in his life. She has to lose her fear of the unknown and the
known world around her. She has to be
willing to undergo toughness, and live by principals not emotions. Joshua’s wife has to be forgiven of her own judgmental
heart, that her heart might be joined with his in total unity.
She has to leave others behind in their own worlds, because Joshua
is creating a new one ahead. If she does not study and learn beside him as a
good companion, she will be left behind when God picks him up and says, “ you
are now ready… go and fight my battles.”
She can get left with the masses as God knows her heart, while the
literal walls of Jericho fall to the ground at his shout of authority!
Where are you? When
the day comes and he stands in the spotlight poised and ready to sound the alarm
for battle will you be ready. Or merely
stand among those who are only consumers? Be among the 10 spies of unbelief who
cost Israel 40 years? Or does your Joshua have a woman who is bold and strong,
expressive in faith, who stands beside him as his matched companion for life.
So to those wives who are married to strong Joshua’s who do make mistakes, but who have generous
hearts and stand as lion hearted men…. Have understanding of WHO God has joined
you to. Will God be disappointed in your actions, your words to him, and your
decisions about Joshua? Will He remove you because you are not ready to be
counted worthy in the hours ahead? When
the alarm sounds will you be standing beside God’s man, or lost somewhere in no
mans’ land once again? Wandering around
in the desert of meaningless actions which will affect no one with purpose.
Another wasted life.
As Joshua leads the people ahead will you be a follower or a
bystander? If you cannot fight fear and get in control of your mind, how will
you manage the masses, the wealth, the publicity? To the faint hearted He gives strength….. but
not if you don’t ask.
Joshua’s wife…… remember who you are married to. A man not
of the world, but a man hand created by God to make also YOU a better person in
faith, love, righteousness. You are the tool in God’s hand also to comfort,
encourage and restore Joshua’s spirit when all else seems against him. Never
forget Marys’ words…. I am your handmaiden, be it unto me even as You have
planned all things. Joshua’s wife has
no name…. I wonder if she made the grade?
Don’t look at the small view right in front of you…. but see
the big whole picture.
In the current definition of ‘blessing’ what does that mean?
Bless my what? My Business? My money? My prestige? My popularity? My possessions?
Increase my territory means what?
Is territory the natural world around me….. like my job, my bank account, my possessions, a bigger house? a expensive car? a promotion at work?
Wouldn't this mean longer hours,more responsibility, more obligations, more employees, more overhead, more work to be done, more book keeping, more oversight of the work of added ‘blessing’?
Are we sure this is really what is meant in this passage of scripture? All of that is fine and good, if your purpose for it all is to bless God's Kingdom with the extra 'goods' and not spend it all on this world's paltry and temporary goods selfishly.
Could it instead have a deeper meaning than is in the modern world of materialism around us?
Like……..Increase my love, increase my wisdom, increase my forgiving abilities, increase my patience, increase my love for you, increase my communicating skills, increase my mental ability to memorize the Word, increase the anointing on my life, increase my soul winning capabilities, increase my influence in the world….. INCREASE MY TERRITORY LIKE AS IN ME THE PERSON.
If the Kingdom of God is within…. Then what is all this focus we do in the natural?
Do this, don’t do that, be like this, don’t be like that, go here, don’t go there, all of this is okay but its still in the natural realm and doesn’t fix my lack of love for those around me.
I have lots of responsibilities around the world…. I already know what and how to increase all that. What I need help with is increasing the innermost ‘me’.
Not my physical work load.
Blessing to me has a different meaning.
O Lord bless me indeed and increase my territory this week!
If love gets increased... doesn't marriage get stronger? Doesn't parenting get better? Doesn't the work load get easier? You get my point I am sure.....
Just saying…. From a preacher’s wife who wants to keep it real!
The blessings of God are not tied to the American economy.
I'm so mad today.... not just 'sad' not just 'hurt' for all the people who have lost their children in another school shooting...but really upset. I'm crying too! Everybody wants to know 'why' this happened. That can be solved when we look at the 'cause' of this horror. Hurt people hurt people! We know this.... but everyone seems to be so asleep in their own worlds until this type of terror happens then it's 'why.... why?'
Here's what I want to know...
WHY is it that it's so hard to find workers to help in children's ministries in churches across America?
WHY is it nearly impossible to find volunteers to help in youth ministries?
WHY is it that churches have to hire workers to help in their nurseries?
WHY don't people get involved? Selfishly motivated "christians" who only think of themselves....
Is this child not worth time and effort and personal expense???
"I'm not "called" to work with teens.... to help with children.... to labor with love over little ones" I have heard those words so many times in my 37+ years of ministry. But the end result of a lack of care for the children of America, brings diseaster.
They have issues happening as a child, no one seems to notice or care about. Abuse.... neglect... social rejections...fears... behavior problems....hungry for love.... hungry for food. And as an adult somewhere there becomes a straw that breaks the camel's back and they snap. Life becomes too much to bear... and the reign of terror starts and ends in horrible tragedy. The problems didn't begin when he picked up the guns, it began as a little boy somewhere in a hurt past.
Who can we blame now?
1. Not the overcrowded and overworked school teachers.
2. Certainly not the parents who are too busy climbing ladders to nowhere.
3. Can't be the fault of the Church at large.... no one seems to want to be bothered with children anymore. It's always someone else who needs to do that messy work.
4. The government can't be blamed... all the programs in the world won't fix a broken spirit even heavily funded political programs.
5. Oh yeah.... don't forget to blame 'guns'. Yes.... that's the reason here.... blame guns.
5. So kids are forced to go to drugs, drinking, wild living, wrong influences... gangs.... no one else is listening or cares.
And we are shocked with this type of bloodshed happens???
Who's to blame?
Look in the mirror and see if you can tell.....
What are YOU doing to help the children in this nation? Where will you be setting on sunday morning? Saturday morning? Wednesday night? or Friday nights? Or any day/night of the week when youth and children have events planned and carried out by a precious few... a precious few people who care.
Actions are speaking louder than excuses or reasons. Where are the volunteers? Those who unselfishly give of themselves in churches and charities across America.... without being paid... without needing someone to pat them on the back... without any other reason than THERE IS A HUGE GAP HERE AND I AM NEEDED TO HELP.
Candlelight services are held in churches filled with grieving parents who lost the little lights of their lives yesterday.... and the unspoken, unseen needs will go unfilled come sunday morning.
Wake up America.... Why? Really? We already know the 'why' it's the 'WHO' ... who cares enough to do something about the hurting children and teens. That's going to stop this type of tragedy.
Moms and Dads, Young Adults, Seniors, Widows and Widowers, Everybody but the Pastors in our nation are held accountable here. The Pastor's are begging for workers... they know the trouble, just don't have enough helpers. Hmmmm have you noticed a call for volunteers lately in your church?
Will you ever have time..... no make time...... to help?
Stop asking 'why' ask instead.... "when will I do something to help the troubled kids of this nation"
Shame on the people who will only 'set' in church on Sunday... every classroom should be filled with parents and caring adults saying, "let me volunteer and help save a life here."
My day started early this morning.... and it's now 11:34 pm and I'm winding down.... it's been a full day. So much I wish to write to pastor's wives... I think of you often! Yet time, energy, effort and others often get in my way of staying in touch with you. Subjects like friends.... church politics....dos and don'ts..... pressure..... people.... your role.... who you are.... who you are not.... what to do... what to not do... who to talk to .... who to not talk to.....palaces and pitfalls..... ways to keep your balance....all are areas I want to write about to you.
I need... time. I have the desire, I just need time to put in writing what is in my heart to tell you. Oh how glorious it would be to have 2 weeks somewhere in the quiet to empy my heart to you.
Tomorrow is another day just a full as today has been. Needs of children, shipments of food for them, provisions prepared to send into suffering areas in this world.Moms Against Hunger www.momsagainsthunger.org and Role Models of America www.rolemodelsofamerica.org are the twins that take much time to care for. It's all a joy to me.... just don't want to ignore you.... those of you who carry the needs of your own church family, I do care about you and tonight I'm praying for all of you. My friends.
He is such a masterful speaker.... I always enjoy hearing my husband minister. Where ever we are in the world.... he has a way of reaching the culture and audiences before him. From huge crowds to the smallest.... from business people to 'saints'.... from government officals to the lowest of the poor, he is a gifted and powerful motivator. I appreciate him!
There is NO ONE on earth like Bishop Gregory Holley.... I'm proud to be his one and only! I love my husband....
If you are married to a minister.... be sure you honor him this month. Pastors are special people with very difficult jobs to do in the earth. You have been chosen to walk beside him... be his friend, his support, his bff, and his prayer partner.
"That is what marriage really means; helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life." Paul Tounier
Greater levels of servant-hood are in my path daily. Through the years my responsibilities have grown rather than lessened. It was refreshing to see my devotion this morning from Rick Warren. It was so good I want to share it with you, if you are a busy ministers wife.. this one is for you!
"You will never arrive at the state in life where you're too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane. It's a vital part of your character curriculum. The Bible says, "If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody." (Galatians 6:3 NLT)
It is in these small services that we grow like Christ.
Jesus specialized in menial tasks that everyone else tried to avoid: washing feet, helping children, fixing breakfast, and serving lepers. Nothing was beneath him, because he came to serve. It wasn't in spite of his greatness that he did these things, but because of it, and he expects us to follow his example. John 13:15 'For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.'
There will always be more people willing to do "great" things for God than there are people willing to do the little things. The race to be a leader is crowded, but the field is wide open for those willing to be servants."
Thanks Pastor Warren.......Frankly oftentimes I have seen others who have title's of leadership but rarely portray it. Help me Lord to become more like You....